And, sometimes, you can’t fight your own thoughts. Not because you don’t want to, but simply because you can’t. When that happens, you can only hope the one that you expect to understand gets it.
I feel the need to hang out with friends more than I usually do. Especially before I go to the hospital to visit dad. I feel like I need an hour or two just to talk about random stuff and laugh about silly things. With friends. Because after that, I’m going to go to a room filled with depression. To smell that thick scent of medicines. To hear the beeping of monitors. Trust me, an ICU room is a very depressing place. VERY. I need to keep myself balanced. Otherwise, I’m going to lose it.
I’ve been taking more photos. Of everything. And everyone. Doing that always helps me to “disconnect” with the world. I need that too. Just for a minute or so.
I feel like I’m stronger.
I’ve been in love. Madly, crazily, in love. Scares the shit out of me. But I know it’s worth the fear. This time.