(loud)silence

(Overly) Positive People

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 07:24:40 -0400

… are like overly religious people; it’s better if they stay as far as they can be from me.

I’m not going to try to vanish them from this world - because I’m pretty sure someone else is already on that - but because sometimes, they’re entertaining.

Why do I think that they’re alike?

Because it irritates them when you say,”Nah, I don’t see it like that”. They might not want to admit it, but - deep down inside - they’re irritated.
Then, they’re going to write down things that you disagree with them to use as something that they can go,”And this is why WE_THINK we’re better than you!”

Right.

For those who knows me for more than a month or two, they should know I’m not a big fan of religions - whatever kind. To stroke your religious ego, I’m just going to say that I’m too dumb to understand your epic concept of this … “thing”. There.

Now, the (overly) positive people, how are YOU doing?

What’s that? You think I’m a negative person and therefore you’re better than me? By all means, DO be better than me. I mean, *I* would like to be better than me, simply because I’m not easy to please. I always want more in my life. But here’s the thing, just because (I always want more in my life), doesn’t mean that I’m not being thankful for what I already have.

If I was able to reach a level 3 of something - a skill or something like that - and I want to reach level 6, that doesn’t mean I’m not being grateful that I reached level 3. That means, I KNOW I can do better than just level 3. And when I do get to level 6, trust me when I say this - I’m going to want to go level 9 or 10. Because, what kind of life would it be if you just go,”Oh, okay. That’s it. I’m not going to try to achieve something more, do something better. I’m too “small” to dream that big” …?

I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to give that to my life. I don’t want to, one day, lying on my deathbed, thinking about thing I wanted and didn’t fight hard enough to get. Because, I know for sure that a “At least I tried …” feels a lot better than a “I should have done this/that …”.

Feeling bummed out every now and then after giving all you got to get where you want, isn’t being negative. That’s called BEING_HUMAN. What? Don’t tell me you’ve never wanted something so bad, it hurts more than you thought it was going to be when you didn’t get it? Some people might choose to hide the disappointment or to deny it but I don’t. How’s that a bad thing?
How is it a bad thing that I see things as they are: when I feel like life has screwed me over, that’s how I’m going to say it. I might be wrong, I might change my opinion after I spend time looking for the silver lining and shit, but seconds after it happens and when I’m feeling like shit, why should I say that I’m feeling alright? Just to please you? Oh, please. I don’t sugarcoat things, that’s million miles away from being negative. They’re not even in the same neighborhood, it’s ridiculous.

So, don’t hate me and throw your judgmental rocks at me because I have higher standards than you. Don’t say that I’m not being grateful for having a husband who loves me and the chance to live abroad because I still have dreams (lots of them) and passion for things. That’s not fair. And it’s also funny because, even my husband wants me to pursue my dreams, be whatever I want to be, he’s with me all the way, but yet — here you are, making me feel bad for wanting more for my life.

No, no. I do get that you’re trying to tell me to see my “glass” as half full instead of half empty, or other fancy positive sayings that you have written on your walls (probably with your blood or something), but - sweetheart, life isn’t a glass. Life isn’t a pitcher or coke. Life is A LOT bigger than that.

So:

I refuse to look at my life as (just) a glass of liquid.
If being positive means I should always feel content with what I already have and to not want more — darling, you go on. I’m fine being the, so called, negative person that YOU think I am.
You’re lucky I wasn’t born a man, otherwise I’d be telling you to suck my dick by now.

Okay.

That’s all.

Photo

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:13:28 -0500

Photo

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:12:00 -0500

Photo

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 22:11:17 -0500

When Life Gives You Lemons ...

Mon, 04 Feb 2013 21:55:00 -0500

tell it to go fuck itself because you_don’t_need_lemon.
Lemon. Isn’t. The. Answer. To. Everything.

Sometimes you just want it - life, I mean - to go/be lemonfuckingless.

And, no — don’t give me that,”Oh, but look at the bright side” hum.
No. I don’t want to look at the bright side. I’ve been looking at it for quite a while, I think I’m partially blind now.
So, again, NO.

“Maybe you’re not trying enough.”
How about I throw all of my efforts to your face so you can feel how hard they are.

There will always be that moment in your life where you wish the world comes with a remote that has the mute button on it and only that. It’s now for me.

So, please, don’t bother.

"Feels like forever since I did something productive."

Thu, 10 Jan 2013 21:07:32 -0500

“Feels like forever since I did something productive.”

- ERIC TEARLE:

90 Days.

Sat, 10 Nov 2012 22:24:13 -0500

Well, approximately 90 days, I’ve been here. Everything just fells to be moving so darn fast but yet so slow — don’t ask me what that means because I don’t think I’ll be able to actually explain. Building your life all over again is kind of difficult. Apparently. But, I do feel like I’m feeling a little, a tiny bit, more confident about pursuing my dreams, the things I’ve always wanted to do/try without worrying about other people might think or be bothered by the stare, weird look and sneering comments. It’s quite exiting but at the same time … scary. But I know myself too well to say that it won’t stop me. It might make me put everything in ‘pause’ but never to stop. I’m lucky enough to be married to this amazing man who is never tired to support me and wonderful friends who are always willing to help. That should be enough to be my fuel.

WISH ME LUCK!

PS:

Starting (something) is always the most difficult part.

Sex is not a goddamn performance.

Tue, 17 Jul 2012 15:33:05 -0400

mols:

Read More

joelzimmer: Fish Yashica-A | Fuji 400H Red Hook, Brooklyn, NY

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 04:03:40 -0400

joelzimmer:

Fish

Yashica-A | Fuji 400H

Red Hook, Brooklyn, NY

urbanmetaphysics: Greenwich Village, New York City, c. 1964.

Sat, 07 Jul 2012 05:16:18 -0400

urbanmetaphysics:

Greenwich Village, New York City, c. 1964.

My apology for an inappropriate posting (as this is not actually a question). Anyway, I just want to say "no need to be worried about your visa". Everything's going to be fine. Your visa case is quite straightforward, right? Yes, it may take a long time to get a decision from UKBA (a spouse application within UK takes at least 2-3 months, let alone application from outside UK). I have been in a similar situation as you. So, my advise is: enjoy your remaining time in Indonesia :)

Wed, 04 Jul 2012 10:17:55 -0400

Aw, hi there, Anon. And don’t apologize. You didn’t say anything inappropriate :) … Yeah, I know it takes around 2-3 months (well, on their website, they actually said 3 weeks - 3 months, but yeah …). It’s just, the not knowing part that I can’t stand. I am enjoying my remaining time here, but - I don’t know … maybe because I’ve been here for almost 28 years now, I can’t really enjoy it anymore, y’know? Haha. But anyway, thank you for dropping this off. Appreciated. :)

Things that you are thankful for?

Fri, 29 Jun 2012 09:25:00 -0400

Things I am thankful for?
Well, I have a lot of those but on the top of my head right now is: I’m thankful my mom isn’t one of those scary moms on Toddlers & Tiaras. If you think that’s a stupid answer, I’m guessing you haven’t seen a single episode of that (I just did, on the tube); where moms telling their 4 year old that they are gaining weight - when they’re actually NOT - and they should be on a diet, thinking it’s okay for their toddlers to dress up like sluts and take them to tanning salons. I mean, that’s just straight up fucked up. I feel like bitch-slapping those moms like there’s no tomorrow.

So, yeah. I’m thankful because I enjoyed my childhood like it was suppose to be enjoyed.

Jealousy.

Mon, 18 Jun 2012 03:16:11 -0400

I’ve been feeling quite jealous lately.
I’m jealous of humble, creative, smart people — focus on the word ‘humble’ there.
I’m jealous on how they managed to find it in them to start doing what they want to do.
As for me, I only know what I want to do, but I still can’t find it in me to start; I don’t know where to start, might be more appropriate.

Before, it was really difficult for me to actually believe I can do something (I want) because no one ever believed I could do something. Well, maybe not no one. Maybe more of,’most of them’. The rest of them just didn’t/don’t really know what I want to do.

Now, I have Pete.
He’s been giving me more support than I could ever imagine.
But my mind just keeps on running around the thought of my visa.
I know that might sound like a lame excuse - or whatever - to some people, but really … it’s not easy to focus on something else other than that right now.
BUT, I need a distraction as well.
BUUUT, I can’t even decide and/or focus on that distraction because my mind just keeps refusing to co-operate.

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ME TO DO, WORLD?!

*sigh*

Maybe I should spend time away from Twitter too.
Twitter was fun because I could ‘met’ new, fun, creative people.
Now it’s just filled with sensitive, holier-that-thou fuckers, and those who screams about the freedom of individuality but then go bat shit crazy when someone else disagrees about something they say.
It’s still fun, but not as fun as it used to be, y’know?

I’m stressed because of a lot of things and it gets worse because I can’t de-stress myself because I’m too stressed to find things to do to do that and that is making the stress even worse that it already is.
STRESSCEPTION!

Errr ….

Anyway.

A honest post

Tue, 12 Jun 2012 11:25:57 -0400

petedoeswebthings:

Over the past month, a lot of people have asked me how I’ve been doing, how it feels to be married, or what’s happening with the visa. Generally, I get at least one question about these topics a day - more if I go out.

I’ve gone through a mixture of facial expressions and sudo-answers, and generally fluffed my responses during the 29 days since I last saw Yuni in person. No one, has really been given a honest answer about how I’m doing, because I’m rather adverse to burdening other people with my problems.

The other day, after a mini bout of gardening, I was passed this news article. And, as some of you know, for the first time in years - I shook with rage and chose to use some colourful language on Twitter. Nothing compared to what I said in real life, I should add.

And, as you might expect, that’s been on my mind rather a lot over the past weekend. People have been pretty good about it - some even highlighting the issue on Twitter (cheers Rich, Rob and anyone who retweeted it). But to anyone that feels the need to ask me how I’m doing at the moment - just for now - please don’t.

I’m not doing great. I’m about an inch away from complete breakdown at any point in the day, and I’m generally a wreck. And the more I read that’s being reporting from the UK government, the less I feel okay about anything. I am - literally - close to tears pretty much every second of the day.

Even during the England match tonight.

Yuni and I have heard nothing from the UK Embassy in Jakarta, and nothing from VFS (the company handling applications). Their websites are either broken or unhelpful, and their contact methods are unresponsive. The last update we had was from the 15th of last month, and it’s the equivalent of a ‘processing’ message.

This isn’t easy for us. Neither of us are happy at the moment, and both of us just want to be with each other. And yet, at every turn, it feels like we’re fighting an uphill battle, with little willingness for people in positions of authority to answer - or think - of the people they’re meant to look after.

So, just for the next few months, I’d really appreciate it if you didn’t ask me how I am. Whatever response I give you - the truth will be: “I won’t be okay until I know what’s happening, or someone gets back to us about any of our questions - it’s all I can think about - and everything else in my life is on hold”.

I do - honestly - appreciate you asking. It really does mean the world that you’re concerned. And I’d love nothing more than to give you a bear hug for it. But the last thing I want to do is make you watch me blubbing in front of you. I expect snot to come out of my nose and everything, if I start.

So rather than doing that - please just sign this petition instead, and pass it on to as many people as you can. I’ll appreciate it more than I can ever possibly say.

And if you’re wondering how Yuni is doing… I can’t speak for her. But I know she isn’t doing great either. She is, however, doing positive things with her time, and trying to keep me smiling. I think she’s doing a bit better at that that I am to be honest - but that’s by the by.

When we have good news - the whole world will be the first to know. And we’ll blog the arse out of it. If we have any other news, we’ll blog the arse out of that too.

So thank you again for asking. I love you for caring. But you just might make me cry if you keep it up :’D.

"Pain is a part of the reality of human experience, and it is an opportunity for us to practice..."

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 15:57:44 -0400

“Pain is a part of the reality of human experience, and it is an opportunity for us to practice cultivating our patience.”

- love and the world will love with you:

Hey, Guys. A Little Help?

Mon, 11 Jun 2012 08:41:00 -0400

Last Saturday, my husband shared me this link and I’ve rambled about it a little on here.
Today, one of Pete’s (my husband) friend, Rob, shared this link.

As you can see, it’s an online petition to ‘fight’ the upcoming Immigration Law/Rule.
Because if it passes, it will affect a lot people/couples especially those who are married to a non-British spouse. Because, trust me, I won’t be the only one.

I’d be more than happy to sign, but according to the “Terms and Conditions”, I can’t.

I know I don’t know each and every one of you who are following me here, but I’m pretty sure not all of you are Indonesians. And even if you are, the people that are following you might be from somewhere else around the world. They could even be from the UK and not aware of what’s going here. Or, you could simply be an Indonesian residing in the UK. Your ‘voice’ will count too. If you’re willing to give one, of course.

So, I was thinking if it isn’t too much of a trouble, maybe you could help spreading the news simply by rebloging this post? Or make another post of your own, I don’t care. Any kind of help will be appreciated.

Again, I’m not just doing this for myself.

Pete said that it’s not an easy thing to make £25,700/year unless you’re living and/or working in London. But the UK isn’t just London, right? And the only reason that people in London make more money is simply because the living cost there is higher than any other place.
It’s already difficult enough for people - me, for example - to enter the UK. Hell, I haven’t heard anything about my visa for a month now. And if this law passes, it will be even more difficult, (again) not just for me, but for other couples/families.
If it passes, like the title of this article says, it will breakup families. Even just temporarily, it will.

To be very honest, I think this law is just cruel.
They’re not thinking how it will - and it definitely will - affect others. They’re just thinking out loud and probably ended up making it because they can.
Cruel.

I believe that the internet is a very powerful tool, and that’s why I’m doing this. Other than the fact that I can’t sign up for the petition myself.
So hopefully, this post will help a little. Along with each help you’re willing to give (simply by rebloging this). Over 160 people that are following me right now, just to get the attention of 10-15 would be enough for me. Hehe.
Feel free to look for as much information as you want before you decide whether you want to help or not.

Thanks in advance for the help and for your time to read this.

So Last Night

Thu, 07 Jun 2012 11:08:26 -0400

… I opened tumblr and found this post on my dash made by Ben for his girlfriend Rara.

I ‘met’ these two online (from tumblr and then Twitter). Then I met them, accidentally, when I was in Bandung last year with friends.
I always believe that you can (easily) tell when a couple is just meant to be. Like, they’re just right for each other. Call it chemistry, call it whatever, but you can just tell.
And that’s what I saw when I met them.
Of course, before that, I’ve been reading a lot of the their posts here on tumblr. Even from what I’ve read, I could see that.
And when I found out about Ben moving to New Zealand (for school), I could feel what Rara must be feeling at that time. Happy because Ben was given the chance to learn some more but also sad because they’d be apart (I MEAN LIKE, LOOK WHO’S TALKING HERE! LOL!).

So when I read Ben’s post, I … cried a little (YEA YEA I’M TOUCHY, SENSITIVE, WHATEVER! XD).
Not just because I thought it was really sweet, but everything that Ben wrote, was just ……. He managed to to tell a story about how wonderful their relationship’s been.
The part that hit really close to home for me was when he started talking about they grew together.

I’ve never been in a relationship where I could actually feel myself growing. Until now.

And this part:

is probably one of the very well written definition of understanding in a relationship.
After reading that, I felt like calling Iron Man to pick me up, fly me to Warwick so I could give Pete a hug and then comeback.
X)))))
We’ve grown a lot too for the last few days. More than we’ve been in a little bit over a year now. And it feels wonderful.
:)

You can probably read the whole post by yourself.

But, what I’m trying to say is, although I don’t know them that well personally, I admire them; as individuals and as a couple.
I don’t think they’re going to say their relationship is perfect, because - let’s face it - there’s no such thing as a perfect relationship, but like Ben said, as long you as you can and want to understand each other, you’re doing it right.

So, Rara, again — happy birthday, gorgeous!
Wishing you tons of happiness in your life. And as for the ‘doain cepet nyusul’ part that you told me, I sincerely hope you two will be together in a marriage soon.
Also, I’m going to take a shot and be a total smart-ass here and say,”Don’t be sad because you’re away from Ben ya, Ra! It’s just temporary. You two will be together again soon enough …”
:’)

Mendadak Kangen

Fri, 01 Jun 2012 10:56:00 -0400

… temen-temen waktu SMU dulu.

Yah, beberapa orang dari fase semester awal kuliah deh.

Tadi abis ngeliat foto-foto seorang temen di Facebook trus baca komen-komen dari temen-temennya yang lain. Ngingetin orang-orang itu banget. Cara becandanya, saling ledek-ledekannya, saling sayangnya juga.

Temen-temen saya dulu sih banyakan yang kalo pipis berdiri alias cowo (yaaa kecuali sekarang ada cewe yang pipisnya berdiri ……………………..).
Temen deket cewe itu cuma 2 orang, itu yang bener-bener sahabat banget. Saya suka susah kalo harus berteman akrab dengan cewe. Ribet.

Kangen ngumpul-ngumpul di warung depan sekolah sambil main gitar.
Kangen bolos sekolah (adik-adik, yang ini jangan ditiru ya … Kalo pun ditiru, tolong jangan bilang saya yang ngajarin) trus nongkrong seharian di warnet sambil mIRC-an.
*yaoloh aib*
Trus kalo chat ama cowo yang mulai mesum, langsung manggil mereka dan jadi nontonin mereka (yang lalu menyamar jadi cewe) chat ama si mesum itu.
*lebih aib lagi*
Kangen nongkrong di dalem kelas abis bubaran sekolah sambil ngobrol hal-hal paling random sedunia.
Dari mulai hal-hal yang memang harus dibicarakan oleh para generasi muda tumpuan bangsa dan negara seperti politik, agama, sosial dan budaya, sampai ke hal-hal yang APASIHCOBADEH seperti bagaimana cara menyeludupkan bokep (ke dalam lingkungan sekolah) yang aman dan terpercaya.
*terguling-guling di lantai*
Belum lagi curhat-curhat soal “perasaan” (aehmateee) yang biasanya (saya) lebih sering jadi narasumber dan suka ditanya-tanyain pertanyaan-pertanyaan absurd seperti,
“Cewe itu kalo ngeliat cowo dari apanya sih? Soalnya kalo aku, ngeliat dari dadanya …”
Atau,
“Kenapa cewe boleh pake (celana) jeans tapi cowo gak boleh pake rok?”
*kami sungguh generasi muda yang paling hokeh pada masanya*

Atau dengerin curhat temen yang - ahem - tidak terlalu pinter tapi naksirnya sama juara umum sekolah.
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA*mendadak plesbek*HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Kangen berbagi tugas dengan teman sebangku untuk beli cemilan kalo pas laper di dalem kelas (um … adik-adik … yang ini kalo mau ditiru, boleh. Tapi harus profesional ya …).
Ntar salah satu permisi ke toilet, trus pulang-pulang udah busung lapar dadakan karena banyak nyeludupin makanan di dalem baju seragam, pas di bagian perut.
Kangen kirim-kiriman surat kalo udah mulai ngantuk di kelas.
Dulu sempet ngasih kertas kosong ke temen, trus dia bales dan bilang,
“INI SURAT APA?! KOK KOSONG?!”
Saya bales,
“Itu karena ini mewakili hatiku yang kosong. Isi lah dengan kata-kata manis darimu”.
*iya, saya udah bisa ngegombal sejak dahulu kala*
Pas pelajaran selesai, dia samperin meja saya, noyor kepala trus balik lagi ke bangkunya. XD
Kangen disuruh jongkok di depan kelas karena gak bisa ngerjain soal akuntansi.
Iya, agak aneh ya yang dikangenin.
Dulu sempet punya guru akun - merangkap wali kelas - yang kalo kita ga bisa ngerjain soal di papan tulis, disuruh jongkok di depan kelas. Sialnya, dia jadi wali untuk kelas yang memang 90% isinya manusia-manusia sarap. Jadi kalo satu udah jongkok, yang laen pada milih untuk pura-pura ga tau jawabannya biar disuruh jongkok juga. Akhirnya jadi pada ngerumpi di depan kelas. SAMBIL JONGKOK.
Sampe akhirnya, si Bapak guru emosi sendiri.
“KALIAN ITU DISURUH JONGKOK BUKANNYA MALU MALAH NGERUMPI”.
Trus dijawab ama seorang temen cowo,”Kita merasa malunya di dalam hati, Pak. Karena kita anak-anak yang gak suka pamer”.
Abis itu dikasih tugas ngerjain soal banyak banget.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
*hapus airmata*

Kangen ngobrolin soal cita-cita.
Ada yang pengen jadi milyuner.
“Ah, jadi milyuner susah. Musti kerja terus”, kata si A.
“Siapa bilang? Kalo jadi milyuner karena menang togel kan nggak”, itu kata yang pengen jadi milyuner.
Masuk akal sih … tapi ……………………………….
Ada juga yang pengen jadi Kapolri.
*true story*
Ditanya kenapa pengen jadi Kapolri sama saya, jawabannya, “Keren gitu pake seragam”.
*facepalm*
Ada juga yang pengen jadi obgyn. Katanya biar bisa ketemu cewe-cewe dan bebas ngeliat …… ah sudahlah. Lupakan.

Kangen kemana-mana dilindungin sama mereka.
Itu juga enaknya kalo punya temen cowo. Mau sebandel apa pun, mau kayak gimana pun mereka di luar sana, kalo sama perempuan yang udah dianggap sahabat itu biasanya ngelindungin banget. Ya seenggaknya orang-orang yang dulu sempat jadi temen saya.

Dulu itu kayaknya hidup lebih … apa ya … “ringan”. Ada masalah juga gak terlalu aih-mati-gimana-ini banget. Kecuali menjelang ujian. Masalah perasaan juga gak seribet kayak sekarang. As in, galau juga gak segalau-galau anak-anak sekarang gitu.

Sempet ada temen yang pernah bilang,
“Nanti kalo kita udah dewasa, udah ga bisa lagi kayak gini. Makin tua itu tanggung jawab pasti makin besar. Waktu buat senang-senang juga … ya ada sih kalo pinter bagi waktu … tapi bakalan sedikit”.
Waktu dia ngomong gitu, semua - termasuk saya - ketawa. Karena:
1) Tumben dia bijak padahal gak lagi mabok,
2) Kita belum ngeh kalo apa yang dia bilang itu bener.

Makanya saya suka heran ngeliat anak-anak sekarang (iya, saya anak dulu) yang bilang gak suka sekolah, dan segala macemnya. Gila ya … kalo bisa, saya pengen banget ngulang lagi masa sekolah dulu. Yang gak enak itu mungkin cuma PR dan persiapan kalo udah deket ujian, atau kalo dapet guru killer. Selebihnya bisa jadi bakal jadi bagian hidup yang bakal pengen diulang lagi.
Dan saya juga suka heran ngeliat adik-adik abegeh yang masih umur belasan banget tapi kayaknya masalah hidupnya itu lebih berat daripada SBY yang harus ngurusin satu negara.
Gak usah terlalu diikutin lah sinetron-sinetron yang karakter anak sekolahannya itu suka melotot-melotot kayak lagi cacingan kalo ngeliat cowo yang ditaksir ngobrol ama cewe lain. Atau pake make-up yang setebel daki orang yang belum mandi selama satu dekade. Atau langsung pengen ngerusak hidup karena “berasal dari keluarga yang broken home”. Gak tau ya, temen-temen saya dulu juga ada beberapa kok yang latar belakang keluarganya kurang harmonis atau malah berantakan banget, tapi … mereka bisa untuk gak … apalah itu yang ada di sinetron-sinetron. Mereka bisa kok baik-baik aja. Gak gampang memang, tapi bukan berarti gak mungkin.

*LAH INI KENAPA JADI KULTUM?!*

Ah ya begitulah.
Intinya, saya kangen temen-temen saya waktu muda dulu.
*ngunyah sirih di kursi goyang sambil merajut*

Sebenernya, masih banyak lagi yang diinget dan dikangenin, tapi ntar malah jadi novel. XD

Dimana pun mereka sekarang, semoga semuanya baik-baik saja dan bahagia.
Dan semoga teman saya, Haryanto, suatu hari nanti, beneran jadi Kapolri.
AMIN YA HAR! AMIIIN!
X)))))

Tertanda,

Yuni Yang Dikarenakan Sekarang Pengangguran Dan Jadi Punya Banyak Waktu Untuk Posting Lebih Banyak Lagi Hal-Hal Tak Berguna Macam Ini Di Tumblr. XD

What? I’m allowed to be a bit galau once in a while. Fuck...

Thu, 31 May 2012 12:48:00 -0400

What? I’m allowed to be a bit galau once in a while. Fuck off.

Maybe Josh knows this better since he seems more emotionally attached than I am, but still, I know how tough it is to be apart from the one you love. And that's probably why I always hesitate to marry him cause, yaknow, being together & being in the military do not go hand-in-hand. They can send him off somewhere & I'll most likely be back to square one; a mess. But we'll deal. So yeah. I guess what I'm trying to say here is, stay strong. You'll be with Pete soon enough. hugs

Tue, 29 May 2012 09:54:00 -0400

I was thinking whether I should answer this privately, publish it or not do anything about it and just leave it here on my inbox. I decided to just publish it because I don’t want it to disappear in between other messages. And I hope it’s okay with you.

Thank you, Arby. Really. Thank you.
You’ll probably gonna say,”That’s so gay, Yuni” (LOL!) but I do wish the best for you and Josh too. You guys are meant for each other, it’s obvious.
So — I’m feeling a bit teary now. Haha.
Thank you for this.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again (until you’re sick of it), you take care out there ya … Be careful. Always. You too will be with Josh soon enough and it’ll be for good.
*hugs and gropes*
XD