(loud)silence

Disclaimer:

If you’re just gonna mock me for being cheesy and stuff, better skip the post. Because this time, I don’t think I can’t avoid myself from being cheesy even if I wanted to. So, yeah. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.
And if I think this post is already too long, there might be a sequel. Mwahahaha. So if you want to unfollow me, THIS is your chance. Before I make you puke some more all over the room.
8D 

—————-

I think it was a couple of weeks ago when a few people I’m following on Twitter shared stories about how they met their husband/boyfriend/partner. I wanted to do the same but I didn’t. I don’t know why. But even without that, one of these questions, or @catwomanizer’s curiousity (?) xD, I would still write this post. 

Some of my friends still find it hard to believe that I’m now engaged and - hopefully - will be getting married in April next year. My fiance is someone that I “met” online. Yes, I can sense the looks on your faces now. HAHA. We met 3 years ago from a website that I’m not gonna tell you (no, it wasn’t like Adult Friend Finder or anything like that. And not a social networking website as well). I remember the first time I talked to him was on MSN and that first conversation lasted for over 6 hours. The first thing we talked about was Street Fighter. True story. And then we just shared random stuff and ask each other more random questions. In 6 hours, I found out quite a lot about him and I can tell that even though it was just a “messenger convo”, he wasn’t trying to be someone he’s not. From there, we just kept talking. Everyday. For hours. About everything. Anything. I think it was after a few days, we finally turn our cams on. And the first thing I realized was how beautiful his eyes were (SHUDDUP, Pete! XD). 
After almost two weeks, MSN wasn’t enough anymore. We started texting each other. And every text message always made me smile even when it was just a “good morning :)” from him.

I think it was after a month that I realized I really like this guy who is living a million miles away from me. Just like most girls, I tried denying it. First, because he’s a million miles away from me (d’uh!). Second, because I never believed that people could fall in love on the internet. Third, because I didn’t believe in long distance relationships.

But the more I was trying to deny it, the more I realize that I like him even more. Then, I came to a point where all I could ask to myself was,”WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU GONNA DO NOW, YUNI!?”

No joke.

Long story short, after almost 2 months of communicating intensively, we told each other how we felt. How - luckily - I wasn’t the only one falling for him. And I’ve never felt that happy before. Somehow, the distance didn’t bother me because I know all we’ve been doing is being honest to each other, about everything.

But after that, things went downhill. He started feeling annoyed by the distance and I - at the time - can’t do anything about it. As in, I can’t ask permission from my parents to fly half way around the world to meet this guy I met on the internet. MY MOM WOULD JUST FREAK OUT! XD
We spent almost a month trying to fight that. But at the end he gave up. A day after his birthday, 20th of September 2008, he told me that we should be sensible. We should stop talking because it’s just too hard for him.
This happened once. But it didn’t last long; only for 3 days. So I thought - I was hoping - the second one wouldn’t be a permanent one. So I waited for him to change his mind.

I waited for two years.

No, not kidding. I did wait for two years. Waited for him to return my calls, reply my text messages, emails, Facebook messages — something. Anything.

I tried finding someone else, I did open my heart *halah* to other options, but … it just felt … wrong. Not because I felt like I was cheating, but because he felt right. I’m not gonna lie, but I was pretty angry at him for just walking away from me like that. But as time goes by, I realized that I can’t blame him. Just because I was fine with the distance between us, doesn’t mean he should be too. After almost a year, thanks to my trusted stalking skills, I found out that he was in a relationship. How I felt when I found out about that? Man! There aren’t enough words. Haha. The chance of having him back in my life again started to look like a reaaaaaaaaaaaaaally small dot. Viewed from space. 

I spent another year trying to accept reality. No, moving on wasn’t the hardest part. Letting go was. Letting go of the memories and the “what if”s. The words and promises spoken. The laughter and the times spent together. Letting go of all that was the hardest part.

I think it was around July or August last year that I received a question from an anon on my blog. She claimed to be his ex-girlfriend. The one I found out from my little stalking activity. First reaction was, “WTF?!”. Second was, telling my good friend Rini about it because I was surprised but not in a good way. She … well, to be honest, I’m still not sure why she did that. But we did send each other email a few times after she left that comment/question. But I stopped replying because I just knew that there was something not right about her. Like, she was trying so hard to be friends with me and make me hate him - I’m guessing, just like she did. I was disappointed but I could never hate him. No matter how hard I was trying. And after that, I told myself that I need to stop and just … let go. 

A few months after that, on the 24th of December 2010, someone left me a question on my formspring account. I swear, my body just went numb when I found out that it was … him. I remember BBM-ing Rini and said,” PETE JUST LEFT QUESTIONS ON MY FORMSPRING ACCOUNT AND NOW WE’RE GONNA SKYPE! OMG RIN!” 

HAHA.
(Yeah, Rini knows almost ALL of my stories. Hell, she knows ‘em all).

So yeah. After the Q&As on Formspring, we Skyped (I needed to ask him for his ID again because I deleted his from my list. HAHA!). He wasn’t feeling very well at that time, but seeing his face again, after 2 years, just felt … surreal. We Skyped for hours and ended up following each other’s Twitter. :P

Then around early January, he said, “Let’s meet”. I was like,”Huh?” Then he said that he wants to see me. And this time, he meant it, unlike a couple of years ago. So he suggested for us to meet in Bali around April. I said,”Okay”. He booked his tickets a week or so after that conversation. 

But the unexpected happened. Middle of March, my dad was hospitalized. His condition got worse by the day and I knew it was impossible for me to leave. Told him to cancel his trip and that I would pay his money back. But instead he told me,”What if, I come and see you in Medan instead?” I told him he doesn’t have to do that and that when he’s here, I don’t think I’d have the time to be with him. But he said,”It’s okay. You don’t have to spend a lot of time with me. I just want to see you.” Being the stubborn person that he is, he booked his tickets to come here. 

He was here for six days. And through out those six days, he came with me to the hospital. He had a chance to meet my dad when he was awake - but still unable to speak because of the giant tube in his mouth and he was still under medication. He held my dad’s hand and I remember my dad looking at him as I whispered to his ear,”Dad, this is the guy I’ve been telling you about. The one that’s here to see me, mom, your son and you. He’s here. So you better not quit on us now, okay? You promised me that you’ll get better so that you can see walk down the aisle and get married. Because, dad? This is the man I want to marry.”

I didn’t know why I said that last bit. I was still not sure if he was going to stay for good this time, but I do know that if he does ask me the question one day - whenever that may be - my answer is “Yes”.

I was also quite surprised to see how nice my mom - especially my brother - was to him. Although, mom did try to change my mind, but it didn’t last long. I can see how brother grew respect towards him and he’s giving his best effort to get to know my family while he was here. 

On the 14th of May - or the 13th, according to his time zone - he asked me the question. It was, “Have you taken a shower today? Will you marry me?”, on Skype, on one knee and shit. Haha. He’s been talking a lot about asking me to marry him ever since he got back from Medan, but I thought he was kidding or that my mom’s questions and expectations has got in to his head. But he assured me that it wasn’t because of anything or anyone else. It was because he wants to marry me. I said yes and BBM-ed Rini afterwards - it was around 3 in the morning. XD

He came back in August and got on his knee and proposed (again) - formally - once we got to his hotel. HAHA.
He was here for almost 2 weeks and spent a week at my house because my mom wanted him to. She started calling him her son and told him to call her inang, which is “Mom” in Batak.
:’)

This might make me sound like a smart ass, but if you think long distance relationship is hard, it’s not that hard really. If you’re one of those people who kept blaming distance for your unsuccessful relationship, I’m sorry to say this, but maybe — it’s not the distance. It’s the person you’re sharing it with.

And I’ve seen people complaining a lot when they’re in a long distance relationship. Stuff like, being alone every Saturday nights, or not having your girlfriend/boyfriend’s hand to hold when you’re at a mall — I never find that as a problem. At all.
The only thing that I don’t like about being so far away from him is when we’re stuck in an argument and all we can do is talk over Skype or iMessage. As awesome as technology is nowadays, it’s better to talk about something in the same room. We had a huge argument when he was here in April, but it didn’t last long. Because, at that time, we can actually talk. Without having to worry that the connection will drop and stuff. Hand holding and a simple hug can do so much when you’re in that situation. Something we can’t do on Skype. 
And that’s all.
That’s the only thing I don’t like about long distance relationship.  
Or maybe that’s just me.
Maybe because I’m in love with my best friend. :P
But, still — most of the time, it’s not the distance. It’s the person you’re sharing it with.  

SO.
There ya go! 
.
.
.
Wait.
You didn’t fall asleep, right?
Guys?
Girls?
Somebody?

XD

Now you see why I didn’t want to tweet about this, right? It will probably take around 100 tweets. And by the time I’m done, I only have 1 follower left; that would be Pete.
XD

Okay. 
If you’re still reading this part, means that you’ve survived. XD
Good news - or not x)) - this is the end of my, so called, story.
For now.
HAHAHA.
I’ll probably have another post later that is probably equally cheesy.
:P

Oh and by the way, Merry Christmas, peeps!
Have a good one.

:)